Just do it already
Just do it already, is
what my friends and family would constantly tell me when I told them what I
wanted to get. They made it sound so easy to do, but to a girl who has never
done anything so called wreck-less in her life this was a big deal. Some would
say that what I wanted wasn't considered wreck-less but mere fashion. I would
say they really didn't know who I was.
Staring at my face in the bathroom
mirror I told myself I could do it, I should do it. All I would need is a
little encouragement or a little more courage. This feeling made me feel weak.
Afraid of change, scared of what happens next, afraid of all the ifs, the and’s
and butts. Everyone says that it will be painless and sweet and that I have
nothing to worry about, but we all have a different scale of what pain is so I
have everything to worry about.
“Look” my sister says while lifting up
her shirt showing off her butterfly belly piercing and her beautiful rose
tattoo positioned on her stomach. She than holds out her wrists each wrist had
a picture of baby Angels. Under one Angel was a name Gabriel and the other the
name Angel. Rest in peace my beautiful niece and nephew.
She than lifts up her pants leg to show
me her butterfly tattoo that extends to her ankle. Then she rolls her arm
sleeve up to show me her warrior tattoo of a lady holding a sword. After that I
helped her to lift up her long hair to see Chinese words on the back of her
neck that read love hurts and the biggest masterpiece was of a family tree on
her back that had a list of her closest relative’s names including mine at the
very top. “Okay I get the point Jamillah, you apparently like pain to get all
those piercings and tattoos.”
Although my sisters tattoos may have
sound like allot it was an amazing work of art and each piercing and tattoo
told a story about who she was and expressed the things she had been through.
Here I was afraid to get a tiny nose piercing, she was so much braver than I
was. No wonder everyone kept saying just do it already! People had endured
worthier pain to talk about like childbirth or some bizarre surgery, who cared
about a nose piercing?
I have to get this over with so I can continue with my day
without thinking about it. If I make one more trip to the bathroom to look at
my face, picturing how I would look with a piercing someone will think I have a
bladder problem. I've looked at all the pro’s and con’s good looks
and possible infections. I already thought about what my job might think
of me. I placed a piece of glitter on my nose to see how it looks. I’m
ready. It’s just a little needle going through a little piece of my skin how
bad could it be?
‘Osza hold still” my mother said annoyed that every time I had
to get a needle I jerked my arm, cried, or made a scene with the doctors.
“Mommy I hate needles. This is freaking horrible. Every year the
doctors come out with another sickness just so they can purposely stick us with
those God forsaken needles. What’s this one for again? Can I stand up and get
it, can I get it in this arm, and can they put the needle in my strong arm? Oh
God I’m going to pass out or throw up either one. I can’t breathe.” “Oh
boy, babies don’t complain as much as you do. I will be sure to ask them to
give you a lollipop afterwards." '"Real funny, mommy."
I was going alone this time, no one to call me a baby when I
complain. I would be much stronger. I've wanted this piercing ever
since I was a little girl. This would prove that I could overcome all of
my fears. I’m not that little baby everyone thought of me. I can take a
little pain without having a mental breakdown. This piercing would resemble a
new me. Twelve noon hit the clock. lunch break was here and I already made
my preparations. I found a tattoo place near my job that did piercings, after a
few minutes of goggling. There’s no going back now. In eight blocks all
this anxiety will be over with. I walked fast, only half hour lunch break
lets go Osza! I talked myself through it.
Finally the building was in front of me. The narrow stairs and
dim lights didn't give me a warm and fuzzy feeling. I walked up
to the counter. “umm do you guys do nose piercings?' I asked the obvious
question as they had just told me yes a few minutes ago when I called them.
“Yes that will be 25 dollars with the nose ring included.”
“Sweet,” I paid the guy at the counter. After handing me my
receipt he informed me another person would be right out to assist me. No later
than 2 minutes a Chinese man was motioning for me to enter another room. It
looked like a small hospital room including a bed, table, and some
medical supplies. I didn't see the needle yet that was good.
“I’m going to need you to sit here.” the man said to me with a
firm voice. “Not the friendliest guy,” I thought to myself. He seemed like he
wanted to get this over with as much as I did. I wasn't sure if that
was a good thing or not, but hey it was too late to turn back now. After
asking me where I wanted the position of the piercing he made a small little
dot on my nose and pulled out that God forsaken needle.
My heart raced. He said hold still. I wanted to say hold up I
change my mind and before I knew it I felt a little push my hands shot up in
the air nearly hitting his hand. He yells “Don’t Move!” “I’m sorry I was
expecting a lot of pain I guess I over exaggerating just a little.” He
smirks’ and replies it’s already in. “NO Freaking way,” I thought to myself, as
he gave me a mirror to see my new look.
I now had confidence, I couldn't wait to show
it off, my boss didn't even notice until almost a few months later and
had absolutely no problem with it. My family couldn't believe I
actually did it and I was no longer afraid to do things I always wanted to
do. After that I took up a Zumba class that I was always afraid that I would
suck at, I took a death class because I wanted to get over my fear of death,
and I finally walked out on a horrible relationship that I should had left long
ago. I know now that instead of complaining about it to just do it already.
Sometimes we make things more complicated than it actually is.
